...until my mom and I fly out to Nevada to visit with some family that we see far too infrequently.
I wish I could say that I am completely excited about this trip, but to be perfectly honest part of me is not excited at all. Not because I don't love the family that we're going to see, but because of the circumstances that brought this trip about. Because I am afraid the moment I see my beautiful cousin, instead of being the supportive rock I have envisioned, instead I may very well double over and burst into tears.
You see, my cousin has been diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer. She recently underwent a mastectomy and she currently half way through her courses of chemotherapy. When she is finished, she will undergo radiation therapy as well.
As if her struggles weren't bad enough, my uncle (her father) was diagnosed with serious esophageal cancer within days of receiving my cousin's diagnosis. I feel really helpless. I have spoken with my second cousins on the phone frequently, and I have sent countless cards, and I have prayed. But I still feel like there is so much I *can't* do, and that breaks my heart. It's just an all around difficult situation and it sucks.
You know, it feels really good to just type this post. I've been holding a lot of these feelings in for a long time. It feels like I am finally exhaling.
Anyway, no matter how *I* am feeling, I am going to fly out with my mom next week and do my very best to shower them all with love and support. I am also going to do my best to inspire some smiles and laughter because my family deserves all of that, and so much more.
I wish I could say that I am completely excited about this trip, but to be perfectly honest part of me is not excited at all. Not because I don't love the family that we're going to see, but because of the circumstances that brought this trip about. Because I am afraid the moment I see my beautiful cousin, instead of being the supportive rock I have envisioned, instead I may very well double over and burst into tears.
You see, my cousin has been diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer. She recently underwent a mastectomy and she currently half way through her courses of chemotherapy. When she is finished, she will undergo radiation therapy as well.
As if her struggles weren't bad enough, my uncle (her father) was diagnosed with serious esophageal cancer within days of receiving my cousin's diagnosis. I feel really helpless. I have spoken with my second cousins on the phone frequently, and I have sent countless cards, and I have prayed. But I still feel like there is so much I *can't* do, and that breaks my heart. It's just an all around difficult situation and it sucks.
You know, it feels really good to just type this post. I've been holding a lot of these feelings in for a long time. It feels like I am finally exhaling.
Anyway, no matter how *I* am feeling, I am going to fly out with my mom next week and do my very best to shower them all with love and support. I am also going to do my best to inspire some smiles and laughter because my family deserves all of that, and so much more.
