Scurrrrrrrrrrred!

If you read my last post, you probably gathered that I am both excited and nervous about the move we'll be making in 2.5 months. If you read even further back, you read about the things that irk me about moving to Chicago/Chicago in general. Today's post topic  = things I am afraid of. I'm not talking about spiders or drowning or 80s hairstyles, even though all those things legitimately do scare the shit out of me.

I am talking about fears that I have that somehow involve Chicago/moving into a big city. I want you all to know that while all of these may not be rational fears, they are fears nonetheless.

So, without further ado:

1. Getting lost. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am probably the most directionally challenged person on the face of the planet. I don't know road names. I am okay at best with landmarks. I am pretty sure I am going to be wandering around like an idiot when we first arrive in Chicago. I mean, I will definitely walk with purpose, but I am sure I will be walking in circles, because I will have no idea where the eff I am.

Will says I need a handheld GPS. And he's totally not joking.

*sigh* I am hoping that I will be able to figure things out within a decent amount of time after the move. I have already been studying the cta maps online. No joke.

It could be very dangerous getting lost in the wrong neighborhood. 

2. Not being able to make friends. I think I am a likable enough person. I have a handful of really close friends, and I have many acquaintances. My husband must like me; he married me after all. My cat likes me, occasionally. I just have this extreme fear that when we get into the city I won't be able to make friends. I can be really, really shy around people I don't know very well, and sometimes people mistake that shyness for bitchiness/creepiness.

Seriously. How do you approach people without looking like a total creeper? "Hi! I am new to the area and don't really know anyone. I have a husband, and a cat. I like food, baseball and consignment shops.Wanna be my friend?!"

*sigh* Creepy.

And how do you know WHO to try to be friends with in a city? How do you know you're not trying to cozy up with a murderer or rapist?

*le siiiiiiiiiiigh*

I am hoping that my new job will allow me to make some new friends in the city.

Speaking of jobs, that leads me to my next fear...

3. I won't be able to find a job in Chicago. I desperately hope that this is not true, my friends.

I know I complain about my current job. Well, I guess I haven't complained on this blog yet, but just ask Will. He will tell you that while I seriously try not to, in light of the current state of our economy, I often complain about my j-o-b. However, I have been working at the clinic for over 5 years. Come to think of it, I have worked steadily since I was 16 years old. I've always held a job.

That's more than a decade of gainful employment, folks. All that is going to come to a screeching halt when I hand in my resignation in about 6 weeks. I'm gonna say "so long "to a job I've held for more than 5 years. It's going to be weird.

While I know I'm not passionate about what I do, and I CERTAINLY CANNOT see myself doing it long term (hence the reason I am back in college),  it really is an okay job. It pays my bills. It allows me to purchase groceries, and pay for insurance; things of that nature. It has provided the means for me to take some freaking amazing vacations over the past few years. Even though I don't like my job, I am thankful for it. There are so many people who aren't able to provide for their families, and when I leave this job, I am afraid I might become one of them.

4. Starving to death. Okay, now I've said it. Luckily for Will and myself, this is a stupid, irrational fear. My parents, my siblings and my father in law would *never* let us starve to death, but you know, it goes along with my fear of not being able to find a job/pay bills/etc.

5. Being extremely overwhelmed. I am afraid I will be overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle of city life. I'm afraid I will not be able to adjust to the super fast lifestyle. I'm afraid I might look like a deer in the headlights when I see all that the city has to offer.

I've always thought it would be a wonderful experience to live in a big city for a few years while I'm young and have few responsibilities. Lucky me, I am getting the chance to give it a go! At the same time, I've always felt that city living is not a viable long term situation for me. Maybe I will change my mind. Who knows? I just hope I don't have a massive stroke from trying to handle the pace of city life.

6. Dealing with White Sox fans. This will surely be made worse by the fact that I will be a Cubs fan living on the South side. Nuff said.